Why Am I Like This?

Disclaimer: After long time I am writing so might have lost the touch and language may be raw and coming out of my imagination… This is not related to any person remotely…!! It’s a cooked thought approach this carefully…!!

There are moments when words echo long after the conversation ends:

You’ve changed.

You don’t talk like before.

Sometimes I feel like you don’t even love me anymore.

Every time she says it, something inside me crumbles. Not out of guilt, but out of helplessness. Because I do love her… maybe more than I’ve ever loved anyone but I don’t know how to make her see it.

There are days I ask myself,

why do I love the way I do?

I grew up believing emotions were meant to be managed, not expressed. Crying was weakness. Talking too much was unnecessary. “Handle it yourself” that was the unspoken rule. So I learned silence. I learned to turn every emotion inward — fold it neatly and tuck it somewhere deep. Years later, when love arrived, I realized how unprepared I was for it.

Why am I quiet when hurt? Why do I keep trying even when it’s not reciprocated the same way? Why do I stay gentle even when being misunderstood?

Maybe this is not a story about failure in love.

Maybe this is about the man who doesn’t know how to express what burns inside him — and how that silence is mistaken for indifference.

I Don’t Nudge. I Wait

They say love needs communication that silence kills connection.

Maybe that’s true. But what if some of us speak better through actions or being told?

I’ve never been the kind of man who keeps nudging, reminding, or demanding.

If I ask once and you don’t understand, I assume you didn’t want to.

If you forget, I assume you had something heavier on your mind.

I believe love is not about correction. It’s about acceptance.

When I love, I don’t want to keep shaping you into someone else. I want to see you rise in your own rhythm, not mine.

But in that stillness, people think I don’t care enough.

That I’m distant. That I don’t make effort.

And so begins the slow misunderstanding that quietly eats away what was once whole.

Love, For Me, Is Not Always Soft

Maybe I love differently.

To me, love isn’t just about the good mornings and the cuddles, the cozy photographs, the weekend plans.

Love, to me, is the everyday battle to stay kind when things go wrong.

It’s standing next to you when the world misunderstands you — even if you misunderstand me.

I don’t run when it’s uncomfortable. I stay.

Even if staying means silence. Even if silence means being labeled cold. 

Because love isn’t about being hunky-dory all the time.

It’s about sitting through the noise and not walking away when the light fades.

But the world today doesn’t have patience for that kind of love.

It wants constant validation, constant proof, constant performance.

And I — I fail at that show. 

My Confidences into Weapons

Do you know what hurts the most?

It’s not when you shout. It’s when you throw my own truth back at me.

The things I said in confidence my fears, my mistakes, my regrets you use them like blades when angry.

And in that moment, the trust I built over time collapses.

It takes me years to open up. To say what I feel.

And every time my honesty turns into your argument, a part of me learns to shut down.

So next time when you ask, “Why don’t you share anything anymore?”

I hope you remember the time when I did — and how it was received.

I Do Make Efforts — You Just Don’t See Them

I’m not the man who writes poems daily, who plans surprises every week, or who calls every hour.

But I’m the man who makes sure your dreams don’t suffocate.

Who stands quietly behind you when you take your steps forward.

Who holds space, even when that space doesn’t include me.

I try to make life lighter for you — in ways too silent to notice.

I let go of arguments to keep peace. I listen when you rant. I accept when you accuse.

But somehow, every time, it still ends with,

“You never make any effort.” 

And I wish you could see effort isn’t always loud.

Sometimes it’s just choosing not to respond in anger.

Sometimes it’s choosing you even when I feel unseen. 

Why Do I Stay?

I’ve asked myself that.

Why do I stay with someone who mocks me, leaves mid-argument, and returns as if nothing happened?

Because love, for me, isn’t a transaction.

I don’t stay because I’m weak. I stay because I remember the person behind the anger.

The one who smiles when calm, who dreams big, who once held my hand like I was home.

I stay because I know pain doesn’t define a person.

We all have triggers, fears, old wounds we bring into love.

But I also know this every time I try to express what’s hurting me, it’s received as defense, not honesty and similar responses have been given.

And that’s the hardest part.

When your purest intention sounds like an excuse to the one you love. 

Why I Am Like This

Because I grew up believing that love means protection.

That when you love someone, you don’t match their tone, you don’t mirror their rage you absorb it.

Because I’ve seen enough broken people trying to heal others with more noise than care.

And I swore I’d never do that.

Because I know what it feels like to not feel safe with someone you love and I never want her to feel that around me.

So I choose calmness over confrontation, silence over shouting, distance over drama.

But the world rarely understands that quiet men can love fiercely too.

We’re not detached — we’re just careful.

Because we’ve learned that even truth can hurt when the other isn’t ready to hear it.

The Misunderstood Kind of Love

There’s a strange irony in being this way.

The more I love quietly, the more I’m mistaken for not loving at all.

People want gestures, noise, reassurance.

I want connection that doesn’t demand constant proof.

I’m not perfect — I get tired, too.

Sometimes I wish I could scream, “I do care! I always did!”

But words never come out right.

So I stay silent.

And that silence though born out of love slowly starts to look like indifference.

That’s how relationships fail, not because love dies,

but because the way we express it doesn’t fit the world’s definition anymore. 

When Love Turns into Measurement 

I’ve seen it happen — when affection becomes accounting.

“Who’s trying more?”

“Who texts first?”

“Who apologizes often?”

But love was never meant to be measured.

It was meant to be felt.

The moment we start comparing, we start keeping score.

And the scoreboard kills tenderness faster than betrayal ever could.

If I hold back, it’s not pride. It’s exhaustion.

I can’t keep proving my heart’s sincerity every day like an exam.

Love isn’t a test — it’s trust.

The Truth About Why We Fail 

We don’t fail because we stop loving.

We fail because we stop understanding.

because we expect communication to always sound poetic,

because we forget that love also lives in the quiet corners of effort.

We fail when one partner wants to be understood but doesn’t try to understand.

We fail when comfort turns into carelessness.

We fail when every argument becomes a competition.

We fail because we stop listening — really listening — with empathy instead of ego.

What I Wish She Understood

That my silence isn’t distance.

That my restraint isn’t coldness.

That my patience isn’t lack of passion. 

I wish she understood that when I don’t argue back, it’s because I value peace over being right. Sometimes I loose it too and its not to prove I am right.

That when I don’t fight her anger with mine, it’s not weakness — it’s love choosing restraint.

That when I step back, I’m not giving up — I’m giving space.

So she can breathe, calm down, return if she wants to.

I wish she knew that when I say, “Take your time,” Tell me what to do which I am capable to do and can have consistency.

it means I’ll be here when you’re ready.

Maybe I’m Not the Kind of Man Who Explains Well

Maybe that’s my flaw.

I love deeply but I speak poorly.

I care too much but show too little.

I try too hard to stay composed, and it makes me look detached.

But if only she could look beyond the silence, she would see a man trying to love her in the purest way he knows without manipulation, without control, without noise.

And maybe that’s rare now. Maybe it even looks boring.

But that’s the only way I know how to love quietly, consistently, sincerely. 

Why We Fail in Love

Because sometimes, the one who wants to protect ends up misunderstood.

The one who loves deeply ends up appearing distant.

The one who stays loyal ends up feeling alone. 

Because love has become performance,

and sincerity has become silence no one listens to.

I’m not perfect. I get angry, I withdraw, I break too.

But I also forgive, try again, and still believe in love.

Because despite all the heartbreak, I still think love is worth it.

Not because it always works but because it always teaches. 

Maybe That’s Who I Am

A man who doesn’t know how to explain his feelings in the way the world expects.

A man who thinks love means creating a space where she feels safe, even if it means losing his own comfort.

A man who gets misunderstood because his silence looks like indifference, his patience looks like apathy.

But that’s who I am.

And maybe just maybe that’s why love hurts the way it does.

Not because we don’t feel enough,

but because we feel too much and speak too little.

In the End

I don’t know if I’m right or wrong.

I just know that every time I love, I mean it.

Even if I fail to show it perfectly.

And maybe one day, someone will understand that my quietness was never emptiness.

It was love — steady, imperfect, real.

Because for men like me,

love isn’t about proving.

It’s about being there, even when words fail.

 

“I am not cold, I am just calm.

I am not detached, I am just deep.

I am not silent, I am just tired of explaining a heart that was never meant to be loud.”

— Unbeaten Desire

International Women's Day - Late Post

In this progressive society and an era of social media it amplifies messages and allow them to reach the places where generally we might not able to. In recent times, we tend to celebrate all the days which are dedicated to some instances or people but I believe most of the time it was a forced gesture. One of the example I can take and some of us might feel offended too. International Women’s Day is on 8th March and I am sure your Insta and FB feeds would be filled with photos and quotes which will talk about Women empowerment and freedom. It might be my own feeling but we tend to forget the same in real life where you should appreciate women in your life as and when you get a chance. Sometimes you might not get the chance before its too late.

Think about your life and women you know. Think about the mother’s, the wives, the daughters, the sisters and your female friends, think about how they show up always when you are in need irrespective of their own stress and problems. Even if they are exhausted but they will still find space to carry the burden of others. I asked sometimes, is it required? Why cant this person says why I am the one who always have to understand? The answers which I found (not all) is that’s how they are programmed to be. People who know me, they can vouch that I keep on saying that I always need a Women support to function in my life and when it is not there I go on destruction mode. It applies to my personal and professional front too. I was contemplating a lot before writing this post because of following issues:

1. Some names I can not write here as they have their own struggle in life to deal with

2. Some names might not know that they got a Fan

3. Why would I share my secret list of Super Women who helped me throughout success (some of my Friends would take some name here who caused lot of dent) and failures 

We keep saying women’s are strong and they have power to change the world and we have never thought that these thoughts/statements put unnecessary pressure on them. Sometimes I believe they take decision basis influence from the surrounding and to please people just to prove a point that whatever they are saying I am validating that or not. In my opinion, validation is not at all required as my Boss’s Whats app status say “True thinking is free from fear”.

I have been told my posts are very long to read so I am just coming back to the point which I was trying to make. Listing down 6 Women in my Life because of whom I am what I am currently in a positive manner.

My Mother: I wanted to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude for all that she has done for me throughout my life. She has been my constant source of love, support, and inspiration, and I am so grateful for everything she has done to help me become the person I am today.

From my earliest childhood memories, She has been there for me, guiding me through life's ups and downs with unwavering patience and kindness. She has always (almost excluding some beatings) believed in me, even when I doubted myself, and her encouragement and support have given me the confidence to pursue my dreams and to become the person I am today.

Her unconditional (sometimes its too much responsibility for me to handle) love and selflessness have been an inspiration to me, and I am truly blessed to have her as my mom. Her unwavering dedication to our family and her tireless efforts to make our lives better has not gone unnoticed, and I want her to know how much I appreciate everything she has done for us. As they say the only Women who can change a Man with force is his Mom and no one else.

Thank you, Mom, for everything you have done for me. I love you more than words could ever express.

Co-Founder of a Start-up: On this Women's Day, I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude and appreciation for all that she has done for me as an individual and as a working professional. She is the reason for my understanding in payments and its impact in the business. She will remain one of the best people I have worked with apart from being my Mentor in my early days. As she speak out for the things she believes in, she is doing so with passion, empathy and authentic collaboration that embraces all voices and all people from all walks of life. 

A Lawyer: She has come in the life at a very inappropriate time when I was very busy in finding my professional way in life. She has helped me in getting the prospective where I learned that the decisions and judgements are passed basis perception. None can change the reality and you must always fight for the things which makes you happy. Society is just group of people who can not decide how you want to lead your life. The stint was very short and she was magical in all the aspect and I must say from Chaiwala to Tapriwala till date would recognize her voice. Recently I met her and now she is one of those people who are trying to make a world a better place.

A Drama Queen:  I always think that why people meet me in a very difficult or at a time whenever I am not in my best state. In other hand, may be my vulnerability make them enter in my life to support and pull me up so I can put the fight again. I was drowning in my own overthinking and diving to the lowest of my life personally then I met her and she was the one who makes me believe that if something is suffocating you then you have to pull the plug else suffering would never stop. We worked in many projects and I have been told that we were the best team, needless to say we proved that too. She is the one from whom I have learnt that if I want to order a Coffee in five star restaurant then I have to say “Hot Coffee” else they will bring room temperature coffee. 

My Official Boss: As a female leader in my current org, She has inspired me and many others in my team with her dedication, expertise, and guidance. Her leadership style is admirable, and her commitment to excellence is contagious. She has shown us that with hard work, determination, and perseverance, anything is possible. Her passion for work and for supporting our team has made a significant impact on our success. I would like to thank her for setting such high standard for me to aspire to. Her Leadership and mentorship have been invaluable to me and I am grateful for the opportunity to learn from her. You are not as burdened by the limitations and biases that held back innovative women of the last century. And you are strong, opinionated, important, and relevant! I was able to write all these because I know for a fact she wont get to read this. 

A Girl in Saree: Personally, I don’t like knowing people because its too much responsibility to handle and that is the reason I don’t have much friends but when I get to know people I cant stop myself to knowing them well. As I have written about this person in various post, she seems a breeze and a storm at the same time which need not to be controlled. A Girl with strong opinion on things and always wanted to do the right thing (according to society and her judgment) for which she can go to any extent. I have learnt from her that be open and receptive towards the change and you have to go out else people wont come to you. The funny part is she believes in destiny too (Difficult for her to understand this joke). Her courageous perseverance is critical at a pivotal time, and she would realize one day the true potential. I hope I would be there to witness that because even sky cant contain that kind of energy.

I have been privileged enough to work and be with my friends and colleagues along with my relatives. Some way or the other I have always learnt something from someone and for which I am very thankful. Sometimes these people irritates me too but if you want to learn from the best then you have to leave the rest. There are some special people who are incredibly kind and thoughtful and just by being there they just brighten my day.

As we celebrate Women's Day, I want to honor you and all the other amazing women who have made a difference in our lives. You have been a guiding light for me, and I am so grateful for your love and support. You got a FAN in me who is rooting for you One... Two... Three... Maybe so many of us fail to recognize or appreciate the power and energy you bring it because by the time we get to ten, we are already on to the next Big thing. Or exhausted. But we will reach there for sure!

Crush Alert - An Open Letter to My Crush

I believe most of the time too many thoughts go unsaid because either situations are not positive, or you are tied up with some imaginary bonds. However, as they say you can create/see beauty in everything, if you stop feeling hurt and believe in the Magic. I always say, “do the favour to the universe and don’t hide your magic”. I come from old school where Love at first sight was a thing, and this right swipe technology can not beat that. Sometimes Love can be most unexpected thing in life which can destroy all your plans and you cannot understand the maths (When you involve maths then it becomes more critical hence the reference) behind it. I wrote about what we see in a girl to get attracted however this can’t be true all the time and sometimes you get attracted to the vibe (Magic) when you were least expecting it. It’s a contagious and you won’t get over it.

Personally, I always get attracted to broken souls, pain behind those smiles, Big eyes and hidden darkness which is expecting a light of hope. Somehow, I start feeling responsible to fix and understand those feelings (People say I don’t understand feelings and I don’t care about them) so I can absorb and understand other people prospective. When you start understanding the person by seeing the soul then there is no going back at least for me. It’s a trap for me and I always remain there in Love. Sometimes you cannot explain, what you see in a person. It is just the way they take you to the places where no one else can. It’s hard to get rid of the demons inside you because they were holding you once no one was there but it doesn’t mean you have to be there even if you get a chance to embrace light. Sometimes I am in love with the impossibility of us because being in Love is beautiful. That’s the reason I am too old for Internet Love and I believe in falling in Love.

I am sure by now you would have started to think what I am trying to say. I am having a mental block for almost 4 years as I failed to read a person with whom I had spend 7 years (3 years knowing I judged her well and 4 years thinking what to do and how to get out of it). In this journey for 4 years I have met few people who have helped me in coping up the situation apart from Family and brother from other mothers. Those people have worked magic in my life, and I fell for them unknowingly but never expressed because I always was either in wrong story or at wrong time.

Love. It truly is a magical feeling when it’s shared. Slow down. It takes time and, yes, it usually begins with a crush. That can be frightening because no one likes to feel rejected, and crushes can work both ways. I am sharing this letter so they can know how I feel about them and there would be many more people who would share my thoughts too (whoever have seen the magic). Just because people don’t vocalize things, they love about you or the qualities they admire, doesn’t mean you aren’t admired for all that you are. The second reason is to free myself by being vulnerable and I believe this is the best way. One of the most beautiful things in a person is emotional vulnerability, so why would I not use that to my advantage? Be the energy you wish to attract and live more in the uncomfortable. I hope one day I could say "Will you be my Valentine forever?".

Dear You,

I love your energy and vibe and I believe you already know that though. You know the last time I was easily able to see this when I was in 5^th Grade, and I admitted that I liked a girl. I have a crush on you or may be more than that because thinking about you makes me dizzy and all I get excited when I see you virtually or in person. I have been feeling this way for some time and I really don’t know how to say it and if I should say it because things are much better this way where I don’t have fear to loose you and I don’t want to find out if this revelation of feeling will change it. I have never told you these feelings because I don’t want to make things awkward. I am being the greatest overthinker alive and I know that you are too sweet to lose over something silly like the romantic feelings of me for you which are not mutual (I don’t know). I have always thanked my crushes for touching my life in such a beautiful way which made me a better person.

We were connected for the longer time and but not have known each other for the longest time but I know this for sure that I have feelings for you. Whether they may be of infatuation or actual love, I don’t know yet. The only thing I know that you are kind hearted, amazing, soulful and one of the most fantastic people I have ever known. I couldn’t bear to see you hurt. I would lose my mind.

Let me explain myself, my Cancerian friend says I always keep things with me and don’t express in person which is not correct. As per him you deserve to know (he doesn’t know you yet) and hear how truly amazing you are and it’s unfortunate that in this internet and app generation that letters like these are not written more often. First, you are hilarious, and I love that we can build off each other’s humour. It’s not your wit or intellectual humour because you are yet to reach there as training is in process but you are silly at the same time. When I started interacting with you, I couldn’t believe that how effortlessly you can be weird, quirky, goofy and childish at the same time. You seem like pure light which just reached the darkest places of my heart which was closed for more than years.  

I also love and appreciate that you are sensitive, thoughtful, and deep. My Mom is one of the strongest pillars in my life and she has taught me that strength is not how little you can allow yourself to feel and care about everything and be loving even you can be hurt. I love that you are strong like that too. I love that you get emotional and are not ashamed by that as you believe that crying is good for beauty. It is beautiful and inspiring and makes me feel comfortable letting my guards down. Around you, I feel safe and protected. I don’t know if I can say I have ever felt that way around anyone before. I love that you see and like me for who I am and what I love.

I really do think you are incredibly cute and trust me that is not why I like you the way I do. I like you for so many more important reasons than the way you look. I love the way you are and the way you make me feel basis your stupid ideas to spend my weekends (on B and A). You are kind, affectionate, silly and loving and most inspiring thing is that you are hardworking, have dreams, you are interesting and you are willing to fight for your dreams. I always have this fear if people going to like me for me, who I am, for my heart, with my broken soul and my darkness which kept me captive for the longest time. For someone to love me like that I can wait a long time, because I don’t believe there is anything more magical than true love.

I love you so much, and it’s not just a made-up thing. When I’m with you, I feel like everything is possible and that life is perfect. It’s as if God created you to make my world the best place for me to live. You know, I can’t describe the kind of happiness that I feel every time my cell phone beeps and received your message. You deeply warm my heart and soul with those messages that you send to me. Those messages inspire me in life.

I know you and I believe I don’t have much time and current circumstances and timings are not favorable for us. I don’t want to make things more complicated for us than they already are. Regardless of your feelings and even if this doesn’t work, I will always cherish this connection forever and keep these feelings valuable and private. The thought of you reading this letter and able to understand that you are the one I am talking about and feeling so loved, appreciated, and valued brings me nothing but happiness. You mean everything to me. I love you for who you are, and I would never change that. Your smile, your eyes, your voice. I love it all. When you laugh, I laugh, when you smile, you make me weak in the knees every beat of my heart is for you… Thinking of you brings a smile to my face, and your face brings sunshine into mine.

I have made myself understood that we might be those twin flames who make us better persons who can handle anything in life. That could be the reason God has put us on those paths and somehow, I got connected to your unperfect way of handling things perfectly. I will accept it someday. So just spending time with you is something I look forward to. Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure. I was so happy and inspired to see you always and almost every day is my happiness. Even though I know I am the only one feels that way. But it’s okay as I am not wishing that you do admire and care for me too. To see you is enough it brought smile to my heart. But unexpectedly I feel that there is hope between us.

Here is my favorite pickup line which I have used with 100% results might work on you “Hathi Naali me Bah nahi sakta, Main tumhare bina rah nahi sakta.”

Sincerely,

Me

Love is not Enough ?

 "The fact is, love is not enough. All those fairytales, all those stories and movies you've heard and watched growing up, lied to you. Love is never enough because love is irrational." ~Unknown

Afraid to Fall in Love Again - Curious Case

It's not that I don't believe in love... I am very strong believer in it actually... I am just deathly terrified that it doesn't believe in me...!! 

Why do we always desire or have feelings for one when you can be completely indifferent to another person? Why do we fall in love in most uncomfortable scenarios? Why it is difficult to find out the reason for falling in love? Why can we not stop that feeling just by putting some logical reasoning or counter arguments? Why we keep on falling for the same person against every odds? All these questions are remained unanswered for me and I feel scared to fall in Love because it gives you the responsibility of the other person without letting that person know. For me love is responsibility to be happy together and it’s a raw form of the highest emotion which you can not control. Secondly once you are in love there is no Control + Z button to undo it. Lets try to explore the reasons why we are afraid to fall in Love via this post.

Most of the people including me fall in love with someone who unconsciously reminds us that we are home and safe. The same feeling which you have experienced in childhood which is already placed in your subconscious memory. The said resemblance, which can be difficult to see consciously, can be gestural, in relation to opinions or even habits. The resemblance, therefore, plays an undeniable role in the attraction because it awakens a deep and powerful feelings inside you.

In the mind from childhood we see all aspect of the life and find some misplaced parts of the puzzle which we call life and we start searching for those missed parts all the time. For example, if, when you were a child, your parents were keeping you in check and allow you to take decision basis your experience and learning, you will have to unconsciously seek a partner who will fill this gap. So in this case, a person who will not be afraid of putting her opinion forward and express their feelings.

Thus, we unconsciously seek in our partner, to remedy a psychological need, a wound to be healed, a lack to be filled, which according to us, we missed during our life until now. As they say we wander our life looking for our twin who completes us and which on certain points is also different from us. For example, if you are a spontaneous person, you may be looking for a thoughtful and composed partner because you do not have this quality.

I always said and keep on saying, women are mature than man any given point of time if they take a call basis their heart and mind. Men are usually thrilled about falling in love but none of them will admit it. They all, deep inside, crave love and affection like everyone do. But they will not talk about it in open and keep on thinking on imaginary scenarios because rejection rate is very high and everyone is afraid of rejections.

Sometimes, his fear of commitment or his current situation can lead you on a wrong path. You may just give up on him because you think he is not that into you. He is not showing emotions, he is probably even very nervous around you. Trust me it does not mean he does not have feelings for you or he is not into you. It can be the complete opposite. He does have the hots but he is scared to fall in love.

Here is how you’ll definitely know he is just chickening out and needs a little push because he likes you but is afraid to admit it.

#His Mixed Signals (All sort of)

You might go crazy trying to decode his message. This happens when he himself does not know how to act around you that’s why he is acting so weird. One moment he is very much interested in you and the next he is nowhere to be found. He is confused with his stand and is very afraid to act on it. He likes you for some reason but something might be stopping him to act on it. You need to find out that reason.

There could be a chances that he had a broken heart or any unlucky relationship before and he is afraid to repeat that story so he is acting that way where he might be seeking your clarity.

#He is slow

He wants to take things slow and practically keep it light. Well, this means he likes you but (and there is always a but) he is probably not ready to be with you for real. He definitely has some unresolved issues that life has thrown at him and he needs to deal with them. He knows there is no going back from there. What would happen if he gets rejected and that thought would drive him crazy. Since he is still overwhelmed with everything new going on in his life, you, he needs a bit of time to process things and get rid of his fear.

Don’t assume right away that he doesn’t like you if he keeps you at arm’s length and most of the time he does not know what to talk. Leave him alone and go on living your life. If he realizes with time that he has loved you all this time, great, if not, you’ll get by fine without him.

#He is always there

Even if you both are not together, he will always be there for you whenever you need a helping hand. He can be a person to whom you can bring any stuff and he will come along with you as a friend or as a partner in crime. If you are in trouble, he will be there to get you out of it.

Real friends do that but men who secretly love you do that too. He’ll stick around when there is no one else left. That’s how you’ll know he likes you but is scared to fall for you.

#He is a Google Reminder

He will care for all small stuff and remember all important things for you. Even small stuff which no one else will give a damn. When you are sick, he will follow up with you and this shows that he is interested in you, as these small details that no one notices is what separates him from the others.

He is into whatever you are into for sure. Men have this urge to impress women they like even if they are not aware of it. He will listen attentively and probably say that he shares most of your interests even if he doesn’t and in longer run he will learn it for you.

#Gets Jealous all the time

He will never show you exactly what he is jealous about and trust me he will never tell you or talk about it but you will see from the way he behaves. You will notice he will change the subjects or cut your call by telling there is another call if you’re talking about your guy friends, or he’ll get nervous and he won’t be able to control his feelings or reactions.

This is kind of cute and by now you would have known this guy if he is harmless of not. Jealousy can be a bitch and its hard to get rid of it but as a indication you can get that he is afraid of losing you and he likes you but doesn’t know how to deal with it. Most of the time when the guy would know that you are into your other friend then the arm length distance tend to increase.

#Overprotective

When a man in love, Logic disappears. He will do somethings in life which are not really logical for example calling you multiple times to check if you reach home and check on you unless he gets a revert. Sometimes these things get you irritated but you can not change this habit in him.

He will behave the way his heart tells him and not his mind. All rationality will be gone. If he thinks that talking to you is hampering you or he is disturbing you, he might stop talking to you. Trust me a man in love only sees you and fears you might get hurt and wants to be there to protect you.

#Follow you religiously

He will use you as a black board and dump all the information to you and all the incidents which took in the day. He always keep an eye on you, Let’s say you are at the same party and every time you look at him, he is looking right back at you.

Even though a lot of other people are around him and he is actively participating in conversations, he will subconsciously look for you and acknowledge your presence. 

So there is nothing called perfect communication and a Man in love definitely does not have when they are faced with the woman of their dreams. They will do their best to hide their feeling early on and if someone is saying that he is honest upfront on everything he would be lying or he would not talk about the topics where he has to lie.

Taking the representation from all those man I wanted to say that: we hide our feelings because we do not want to get ahead of ourselves and we will want to know if our feelings are reciprocated before we open up.

We might be mysterious and weird but we are definitely not fake…!!

Happy Birthday from Unbeatendesire!

 Dear Birthday Girl,

Cheer up. Take courage. “The truth is that getting older is nothing to be feared. Its make you unique in its own ways”. As the years go by, you gain a perspective not found in younger years. Mysteries of why things happened years ago start to clear up. You can see how the pieces of life fit together. Using thoughtful retrospection, the older you become, the more life makes sense.

You are indeed a great personality - the way you talk, the way you smile, your obsession for success, love for your family. Your passion for your future, your philosophical thoughts, clarity about your life, the purity in your heart, control over your emotions, your friendly nature, your efforts to make me laugh when I feel alone, when I feel so low. The way you turn every intense situation into something positive and sometimes light. Being yourself, being so selfless, adventurous, caring, affectionate and Crazy. 

We have not known each other for a long time, about a year and a half at most. But I do know this; I have feelings for you. What I do know for certain is that you are kind, beautiful and one of the most fantastic people I have ever known. You are precious to me and I couldn't bear to see you hurt. I would just about lose my mind. I am the kind of person who would like to hide behind blogs and open letters, when it comes to talking about my feelings, I'm not the best at it. I just don't enjoy addressing matters of the heart.

Let's be honest... we're practically polar opposites. However, we have enough similarities to get along, I think. Here are a few reasons why I like the hell out of you and why you should be super excited about your birthday (Yes, I'm writing a list of the reasons. I warned you):

• You're really good at what you do and you're so passionate about it. Who wouldn't admire that? A damned hater, that's who! 
• You are so supportive of me. The other day I was feeling really down, and I shared with you what I was going through. You listened and offered words of encouragement in a way that showed you really do care. You'd never just give me the whole "Stop complaining because many people would love to be in your shoes" response that so many people give; that response has inspired me to NOT open up about my feelings when I'm going through hard times. But you don't do that to me. You're just there for me. It means a lot. Yeah.
• I love talking to you on the phone. I like getting excited when I realize I've got a text from you. You are may one of the favorite notification on Whatsapp.
• My life is pretty weird and unpredictable. Sometimes because of my career and my personal issues. With you, it is like everything is normal and so peaceful and I have never felt the same way for years.
• I think you deserve the world, yet somehow I don’t think you always see that. But I want you to know, I often find my own self wondering what I did to deserve you.
• You taught me what a connection really is and I got crazy when you told that You come in to people’s lives with a purpose and you change them. You make every single person around you better, without even realizing it.
• You’re the person that someone can only live without, if they’ve never lived with them before. You light up every room, and lift up every single person around you. People need you.
• You get to know them down to their very core, even when they’re hard to get to know. You go to war for the people that you love, and do it without even thinking. Love isn’t an option for you. It’s just who you are and it makes you the most beautiful soul I have ever known. Because your love isn’t fearful, or weak. It’s the most powerful force that I have ever felt—indestructible and unconditional.
• If for any reason, we ever fight about something, and I mean really fight about something, I will always want to fix it. I hope you stay around for a long time, because I want you in my life forever. You have made my life so much better since you entered it and the memories that we have made together are one in a million. With that being said, I hope you know how much I appreciate you, how much I appreciate everything that you do for me. And I hope that you know I would do anything for you, without even hesitating because you're my best friend.

I could have written a lot of things as you know but I am not going to make this post boring for you so sub listing few points for which you should be happy as its you 18th Birthday with 12 year’s experience: 

1. You have the ability to create a smile and trust me that you have a beautiful smile that erases all the worries away.
2. Your happiness is contagious and you have the perfect timing in entering a person’s life.
3. You are candid in the most positive way.
4. You can stay for as long as you’re needed and A simple “Hi” from you is something worth hearing.
5. You know how to tease and not make a person angry. I can vouch for that.
6. You make a heart beat fast… and faster and your stare is worth a smile.
7. Your genuinely say “sorry” and I don’t know how you do it.
8. Your heart is as big as your soul and you give good advice even if the situation doesn’t coincide with your life.
9. You have principles and you follow them.
10. You love your God (YOUR) more than anybody.
11. You pick your closest friends and don’t forget them.
12. When the temperature rises, you choose to go to sleep and put your phone on “Airplane Mode” and I hate it.
13. You don’t make someone feel bad.
14. You avoid wars just as you always find peace.
15. You trust that your thoughts are true.
16. You are not afraid to question things.
17. You’re brave because you want to.
18. You love conversations and people might not know but you are easy to talk to.
19. Your silence is magical and it put me revisit all the conversation where I could be wrong.
20. Your soul is beautiful in every single way.
21. You stand by what you believe in life and for that you follow and break rules at the same time.
22. You don’t really assume that the society’s standards are all true.
23. You love yourself and trust me you would never walk alone because you are loved by people.
24. You don’t fake your emotions and you try to explain your self but don’t expect to be understood.
25. You know how to keep secrets and Friendship with you is an exciting adventure and you can walk a mile on someone’s shoes.
26. You are not afraid to make a mistake and your opinions always matter.
27. You won’t be forgotten easily and you don’t compete in attention – you don’t need to.
28. You are not someone to be liked; you are someone to be loved.
29. Your genuineness will stay forever.
30. You are special, and you may not know it.

Thank you for sticking by me, getting to know my life, showing me the most sincere support and unconditional care. I couldn't thank you enough for the countless amount of times that you have stuck by me when I needed you. I have no idea what I'd do without you sometimes... or all of the time. And I am so happy that I don't ever have to find out.

Even I am not happy with wrinkles and thinning hair when we grow more older as every year is a single step reaching to that destination. But I love getting older. It is a sweet time in life. Embrace it. Go ahead. I dare you. Fall in love with getting older.

Happy Birthday…! Don’t count your wrinkles count your blessings!

Yours!

Ji chang Wook